Tag: Self-Confidence

Calming Emotions, Mindfulness

Wrong Turns Allowed

Just before I fell asleep, a car swerved into my lane and shoved me off the road, jolting me out of that twilight state and back into my bed where I was safe and sound.

Well…safe. I’m not too sure about sound.

It took some calming affirmations to get myself relaxed enough to truly fall asleep. But whenever I woke in the night, I still had this unsettling feeling—as if at any moment, something unexpected would happen to derail me. As if I shouldn’t have been on that road.

As if I made a wrong turn.

I’m often invaded by sudden images, sometimes while wide awake. I’m walking along when—BAM!—I see and feel myself twisting an ankle. I can even hear the familiar crunch. It’s sudden and visceral and startling. And I hate it. But I understand it: I have a long history of falling off my foot.

The first time it happened I was living in Manhattan. I had just spent the day rehearsing for Cats, executing all manner of coordinated feats, when I stepped in a pothole and twisted my ankle. After that, all it took was a less than solid step for me to, literally, fall off my foot. No pothole necessary. Just a slight misalignment and down I’d go. It’s happened dozens of times since then, always unexpected, always painful, always accompanied by cringe-worthy crunch and a shock of pain.

So what does this have to do with a car running me off the road?

Insecurity

The unexpected car veering into my lane and the ankle I keep re-twisting in my imagination are signals from my subconscious that I’m feeling uncertain about myself. Did I take the wrong turn? Am I on the right course? Or is the bridge out ahead and I’m headed for disaster?

That’s what I love about this Toontown sign: It reminds me that wrong turns are okay, but more than that, it implies that wrong turns are a natural part of getting from here to there.

It’s scary to stretch out of the comfort zone.

We don’t know what to expect.

We don’t know how others will respond.

We don’t know if we’ll inadvertently cause harm or create a monumental mess.

We’re taking a chance, and in the process, risking failure.

So yeah… it’s scary. And yet, it needs to be done. Otherwise, how can we grow?

I remind myself of this when the startling images catch me unaware—while falling asleep, while walking through a lobby, while sitting at a table with friends with whom I should feel completely comfortable and am not. I shake off the feeling—a very visceral feeling—and remind myself that I am capable of handling whatever comes. Because that’s really what matters, isn’t it?

Confidence isn’t about always being right or perfect, it’s about knowing you can get back on course when you take a wrong turn.

Bus Charles Chessler
Communication, Empowerment, Mindfulness, Perspective

What Kindness Needs

I was on a walk the other day and had one of those pleasant interactions that stuck in my mind. It wasn’t a big deal, and yet, it kind of was. You see I was power-walking up a road past a construction site when I caught the eye of a couple workers getting in their pickup truck. One of the guys said hello and I returned the greeting. He said I looked “mighty good,” and I said thank you. He said you’re welcome. And that was that.

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GreenWoodHorse
Mindfulness, Motivation

Year of the Green Wooden Horse

Happy Lunar New Year! We are now in the Year of the Green Wooden Horse and I’m excited about the possibilities. Already I am feeling more focused, GreenWoodHorseenergized, and committed. I’m not entirely sure this has to do with the Chinese zodiac, but from everything that I’ve read it seems as though the year of the horse holds great promise for success. That is, if we’re willing to put in some diligent effort!

Which makes me wonder—Is it really any different than any other year?Read more

Fear
Calming Emotions, Empowerment, Exciting Stuff, Mindfulness, NINJA

Overcoming Fear

FearFear stems from our unwillingness to experience a particular condition. It doesn’t matter what that condition is. If we are unwilling to experience it, we can be controlled. The condition could be anything: unemployment, divorce, solitude, poverty, confrontation, injury, illness, or death. All conditions have an opposing counterpart to which we are probably very attached: ie. employment, marriage, friendship, wealth, harmony, mobility, health, and life. Read more

Dodging Disappointment
Calming Emotions, Mindfulness, Motivation, NINJA, ShowBiz, Writing

Dodging Disappointment

When we are willing to do the work, remain flexible as to the means, and have unwavering belief in our ability to get it right—disappointment has no place to root. On the other hand, when our heart and mind are attached to a fixed outcome and timetable, disappointment digs deep and sprouts up like a nasty weed. Water those weeds with doubt, and soon we’ll have a field of despair where nothing positive can grow.Read more