Dangers of Over-Sharing
Calming Emotions, Communication, Mindfulness

Dangers of Over-Sharing

We’ve all got problems, right? They exist. We can’t just close our eyes and pretend they aren’t there. Well, actually we can, but pretending won’t really make them disappear. Our problems will still be waiting when we work up the courage to take another peek. So, we might be tempted to think that talking about them couldn’t hurt. We might even believe that unburdening our troubles will relieve some of our stress. And to some degree, it does. But at what price?Read more

The Second Guessing Game
Calming Emotions, Communication, Empowerment, Mindfulness

The Second Guessing Game

The other day, a friend of mine was wrestling with a common relationship issue, trying to figure out whether someone’s action was motivated by good intention or woeful disregard. I say common, because I suspect we have all experienced this kind of uncertainty at one time or another: Someone we know does or says something that leaves us feeling hurt, bewildered, or perplexed. The most direct course of action would be to ask. But that only works if we’re willing to believe the answer.Read more

Reflections from a Beach Girl
Calming Emotions, Communication, Mindfulness, ShowBiz

Reflections from a Beach Girl

In 1986, I recorded with Brian Wilson. I was a young singer at the time and thrilled to be hired (along with two fabulous women) to sing on his album-in-progress. This was during a difficult time in Brian’s life when he was struggling to get back into his music. A couple years later, he would come out with his critically acclaimed solo album. But in 1986, he was in the midst of his struggle with music and his longtime therapist, Eugene Landy.Read more

Empathy without Suffering
Calming Emotions, Communication, Mindfulness, NINJA

Empathy without Suffering

While speaking on the Power of Empathy to graduate students studying for their Masters in Social Working, I saw a need to address how to be empathetic without taking on the pain. Like writers, doctors, artists, caregivers, parents—and any deeply caring individual—these young professionals wondered if there was a way to open their hearts, safely. If you’ve ever wondered the same thing, read on!Read more

knee jerk reactions
Communication, Mindfulness, Perspective

Knee-Jerk Reactions

The littlest bit of information about a person or a situation can change our perspective, entirely. When we stop to think about it, this seems obvious and right. We may feel an immediate resonance with the statement and think of all the times that this has proven to be true. We might even feel that this sentiment is part of our wisdom and an example of how we walk in the world. And yet, we all make snap judgments. Sometimes, this is a necessary trait for our emotional and societal survival; and other times, it’s just our assumptions getting the better of us.

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Heather Paul Text Web
Communication, Exciting Stuff, Writing

Relationship-Building at THRILLERFEST

I’m back in Malibu after four days of relationship-building in New York City! Sure, I was at an exciting conference, jam packed with thrilling authors. And, yes, I got to pitch my novel with great success. And, of course, there were fabulous books, exceptional panels, celebrity authors, classy parties, and heartfelt entertainment. But what really made the weekend for me was the opportunity to forge and strengthen relationships.

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Bus Charles Chessler
Communication, Empowerment, Mindfulness, Perspective

What Kindness Needs

I was on a walk the other day and had one of those pleasant interactions that stuck in my mind. It wasn’t a big deal, and yet, it kind of was. You see I was power-walking up a road past a construction site when I caught the eye of a couple workers getting in their pickup truck. One of the guys said hello and I returned the greeting. He said I looked “mighty good,” and I said thank you. He said you’re welcome. And that was that.

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Tori and rinpoche
Calming Emotions, Communication, Mindfulness, NINJA, Perspective, ShowBiz

Differently the Same

I’ve had a series of fascinating conversations for Empowered Living Radio this past month. Each has been on a different topic with wildly different guests: the reincarnated spiritual leader of the Red Hat Lamas of Tibet, an advocate and activist for the Indigenous people of Turtle Island (North America), a Colonel in the United States Army stationed in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia as an adviser, and a professor and author of middle-grade fiction. And yet, there seems to be a common thread that weaves between all of these conversations—connection and interdependence.

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Communication, Mindfulness, Relationships

From Here to There

Not only are there many paths from here to there, but Here and There are matters of perception. I’m not talking about MapQuest for the multi-universe where we’re standing on a corner in one dimension but not in another. I’m referring to a matter of perspective where we perceive the experience of standing on the corner to be one way while others perceive it to be another. And how could we not? Perception is, after all, personal.Read more

Calming Emotions, Communication, Mindfulness

Whining Not Allowed

Whining. I don’t like it in others, and I don’t tolerate it in myself. My family can attest to this fact. Let’s just say that I’m not always the best person to come to if you want to indulge in the “Oh, woe is me” self-pity-fest. However, that is not to say that I’m not a good sounding board for ranting. I don’t mind a good rant now and then. So, what is it that distinguishes whining from ranting? For me, there are a few distinct elements.Read more