When we are willing to do the work, remain flexible as to the means, and have unwavering belief in our ability to get it right—disappointment has no place to root. On the other hand, when our heart and mind are attached to a fixed outcome and timetable, disappointment digs deep and sprouts up like a nasty weed. Water those weeds with doubt, and soon we’ll have a field of despair where nothing positive can grow.Read more
Expectation and attachment are killers of a good time. When we cling to them, nothing that comes our way—no matter how lavish—feels like enough; but when we can let them go, every moment that life has to offer becomes an unexpected gift.
The culprits are those pictures we hold in our minds of how we want the world to be. We imagine the way people should react, how we should be treated, the way in which love should be communicated.Read more
What is happiness, exactly? Is it big smiles and laughter? Champagne, presents and celebration? Love? Peace of mind? Contentment? What does happy look like to you? How does it feel – to you? Most of us list happiness as a fundamental goal but how do we know if we’re achieving it if we haven’t taken the time to define it?Read more
Negative thoughts can take over our minds like weeds in a neglected garden. Given time, those suckers dig in deep. But while pulling a mature weed is darn near impossible without an Olympic tug-of-war team behind you, pulling a new weed is easy. The trick is to take them out when they first appear.
Perhaps the worst of these insidious thoughts is doubt. Doubt is a weed on steroids. It undermines every positive idea, project, or relationship we try to grow.Read more
We are all susceptible to self-delusion, even—and perhaps especially—those of us who actively strive for clarity. Why would this be? Well, the same tools that assist us in tearing down false conditions and manifesting what we desire, are the same tools that can lead us woefully astray. These tools are powerful, but they are also dependent upon the perspective of the one using them. And there’s one thing we can count on regarding perspective—it’s subject to change.Read more
It’s easy to discount the ease with which others live their lives when we are not feeling it ourselves. We hear what they’re saying but jump to all the justifiable reasons of why our life is, and must continue to be, a struggle. We list the causes of our stress—very real stress, thank you very much, not the petty minor stresses of those other people—until our listing takes on the ironic tone of bragging.
It’s tempting to itemize our ailments as though our lifestyle choices had no bearing. We can blame bad luck, poor genes, and unavoidable circumstance—all of which may be true and valid—but if we focus on this,Read more
Whining. I don’t like it in others, and I don’t tolerate it in myself. My family can attest to this fact. Let’s just say that I’m not always the best person to come to if you want to indulge in the “Oh, woe is me” self-pity-fest. However, that is not to say that I’m not a good sounding board for ranting. I don’t mind a good rant now and then. So, what is it that distinguishes whining from ranting? For me, there are a few distinct elements.Read more
